Who Does He Look Like?

Ian


Dad

Mom

Family

Ian had a naming ceremony over Thanksgiving weekend. This was a chance for us to recognize the gift that we have received in Ian and to welcome him into the family. It turned out wonderfully. Even my brother Jim (whose witty remarks dot the comment section of this blog), his wife, Margaret and their two kids, Judy and Tommy came up from Florida for the occasion. That meant a lot to us as we don't get to see them nearly enough. About 30 of Aaron and I's closest family showed up! I think it is awesome to have a big family. When I was born my Grandparents had all passed away and my Mom and Dad had moved to a state that neither had family in. So we didn't have the feeling of family surrounding us. Some may say this is a good thing, but for all family can be a headache, I wouldn't trade them for anything. Aaron's grandparents are all living still and so Ian even has great grandparents! He is named for his great grandfather, John Stek. (Ian is the Scottish form of John.) Great Grandpa Stek is a minister and professor of theology so we asked him to say a few words on our behalf as neither Aaron or I are much in the oration department.
This is a picture of all of us after the ceremony. Ian was looking especially dapper in his little man clothes. You can also see he was so excited by the events that he immediately crashed after all the excitment (ok he was passed out the whole time - I think he had had a little too much milk to drink).

No Words Necessary

Hmmm...

Sometimes I look into Ian's eyes and I see the wisdom of the universe and the smile of one who has this knowledge and isn't telling. I know he's not supposed to be very cognizant at this age but I don't know if I believe it. Ian has a very mellow soul and mostly this has made it pretty easy for Aaron and I to adapt, mostly... The last couple of days he's been kinda fussy. He'll be hungry but not willing to breastfeed and/or tired but not able to sleep. I don't know if it is something I have been eating - maybe too much sugar?? It's too bad he couldn't just instant message me even if he can't talk. :-) Aaron and I are learning. Mostly it's a trial and error thing, and sometimes we find something that works and the next time it is unacceptable. Again I sound like I am complaining. I don't mean to be. 95% of the time this little guy is awesome. It's only in the evenings, like from 8 to 1 or 2 that he gets ornery. The last two nights he has feed for multiple hours pretty much continuous until we break down and give him some of the stash out of the fridge cause Mom can't take it anymore. I'm not sure what this is about. I produce enough milk for him the rest of the day. Maybe he's trying to stock up for the night. Who knows! I do know that all of this is temporary including all the good stuff so I am really glad I took that incomplete. I am now caught up with school work (except one exam) and can enjoy just hanging out with Ian and trying to absorb his wisdom.

Oh Boy Oh Boy!

I bet you've noticed there hasn't been a blog entry in awhile. Well, I've been kinda busy... Everyone told me my life would change but you just have no concept until you're there. My whole life is dictated by someone else's bodily functions! I'm breastfeeding and my child has a voracious appetite so I am essentially stuck in a chair for what seems like hours on end of feeding and burping and spitting up and changing until Ian finally falls into a milk stupor for a few hours. At night he's a little nipper napper - he feeds for maybe 15 minutes and then falls back into a deep sleep. Sounds good except the deep sleep only lasts max an hour before he's hungry again and we do it all over. I asked my professor for an incomplete in Hydrology today. He granted it and said I could either finish the class in the summer or next fall. I checked and I will still be able to walk in the spring and go on to grad school with the incomplete and since I am staying at the University of Michigan for grad school I have some time to finish the class - no pressure. My department has been great about supporting me through all of this. One of the reasons I am staying on.

I think in my last entry I was having second thoughts about all of this grad school stuff. I got some great advice that if I am to error it should always be on the side of family. I heartily agree and so will stay at Michigan against the ruling thought. I never knew my grandparents and always thought I missed something special (like getting spoiled rotten) I don't want Ian to miss out on that. Besides Aaron loves his job and I am happy at UM. So I stay for at least a masters and then I'll decide on the next step when the time comes.

Juggling

Hello from the land of the sleep deprived. Everyone told me that having a baby would change my life - but you don't really know what everyone means until you're there. So my life has changed... drastically. I'm in the process of reevaluating my whole life and my goals. Do I really want to pursue a PhD? Now it isn't just what is best for me and for Aaron, but the deciding factor is what is best for Ian? I am really tempted to call good enough, good enough and just get a master's degree. Then Aaron, Ian and I can settle down in a town and buy a house (another one) and Ian could go to school and ok, I could start making some money!! That sure would make life a little easier. I returned to school this week and Aaron returned to work so this is part of the reassessing process. I mean do I really want to keep doing this for five more years? And at some point Aaron and I want to have another baboo, and do I want to still be in school? This what I'm thinking about today while I wait for Aaron to pick me up.

Whew!

Aaron and I had no idea what we were getting ourselves into! Parenthood is awesome and we are both so in love with this kid. I think there may even be some push and pull as to who gets to hold the baby and/or hang with him. I think it is great that Aaron is so involved in being a Dad. We've pretty much adapted to a system at this point with me taking care of input and Aaron taking care of output. We are even getting a fair amount of sleep. The baby sleeps between us and maybe because he feels safe when he half awakes during the night he doesn't fuss or demand to be fed that much. I usually have to feed him twice or three times a night. I feel like I should knock on wood after saying that. I don't want to jinx things. Ian seems to be a mellow soul with little fussing. He just crys when he is hungry or needs to be changed. This kid knows how to go through diapers too! He thinks it's really funny to bomb whoever is changing him too. When we went to see the pediatrician the nurse almost got it in the mouth. You would think a pediatrics nurse would know better than to bend over a naked boy baby. I was kinda proud of him at that moment. Today we had our first adventure outdoors. It's a beautiful fall day with lots of sunshine and it seemed a waste to stay indoors. So we ventured down to Zingerman's to let Aaron's coworkers oooh and aaah over the baby then we headed to the mall to pick up a couple of things for me with no luck. It was nice to get out of the house briefly. Our friends, family and neighbors have been great to us. The support we've been getting is incredible. We only moved into our apartment complex a couple of months ago but the couple down the row made us dinner last night and our downstairs neighbors brought Ian a present. It gives me warm fuzzys about our new home. Well... I don't want to waste all my nap time so I'm off to sleep while I can.

He's Arrived!!

Ian Forrest Stek was born 10-20-06 at 12:29 am at the University of Michigan Birth Center. Ian, Mom and Dad are all healthy and very happy but exhausted. He weighed in at 7lbs 14.5ozs and is 20in long. More later.

No Real News

Not much to report. Yesturday the contractions were more spaced apart and much milder. Aaron and I took the opportunity to relax and clean up around the house some. We went out for breakfast at our favorite classic american diner "Flim Flam" and the headed over to see Rachel, our doula. She was nice enough to do some body work/massage therapy with me to try to get my energy flowing and the body to relax. I think that helped a lot in terms of acceptance and not fighting the pain. Later I vacuumed and took a nap. Aaron beat up some digital bad guys, made dinner and then we went out to see a movie.

The doctor gave me a script for Ambien which is a fairly strong sedative so that I can get a good night sleep in spite of the contractions. I had been fighting using any meds but a lot of good friends whose advice I sometimes heed including my sponsor, my doctor and my doula - all thought the best thing I could do was to get a good night sleep. I gave in and it helped although sleep wasn't without interuptions. I think you would have to be dead to sleep through some contractions.

Today Peanut and I had a little one on one. He and I and his Daddy are going to have this baby today - right, Peanut? Whether we let them induce us or he decides to work with us. I think he takes after his daddy a little and he just kinda gets lost on the way. A little bright shiny thing distracts him and labor slows down. Can babies be ADD in the womb??

50 Hours and Counting

No body mentioned that labor can go on for days. I checked all the liturature and books I was given and they only mention slow start labor as taking 12-13 hours to get to active labor. No where does it mention days... yet my doctor tells me this isn't that unusual. Is this a conspiracy? Is there anything else I need to know that has been obviously "not mentioned"?

Ok so after my parents went back home after driving from the other side of the state thinking I was going to have a baby (because that's what happens when people go in to labor, right?). I really started to have strong contractions - this is about 3 pm. They kept up and were getting seemingly closer together. So about 8 pm last night, Aaron packed up the car and we headed to the hospital. They checked me out in Triage to find out that I am still only fingertip dialated - same as I was at 1:30 when I saw my ob/gyn!! The good news is that I am 90% effaced and the baby's head is engaged. So all I need to do now is dialate. Peanut's knocking and telling me to open the door!! I have the option of having them give me meds to dialate me but I am still hanging on to letting this happen naturally. But I'm not so sure I will be so determined if this goes on another day.

As you can imagine sleeping is a little difficult when you are having contractions every 5 minutes or so. They do seem to slow down during the night which is a blessing. Aaron is getting restless. He may go to work today just to get out of the house. If I let him. If my contractions are as strong as yesturday I may need his moral support. It's been rainy and nasty outside for the last couple of days and I think we are both feeling a little couped up. Well that's all the news I have to report. Hopefully the next entry will be more exciting - like about the little pea's arrival :)

Labor

Yesturday morning about 6 am I woke up with a bad backache and just had to sit on my ball. (see earlier pics of Aaron). As I was answering email and thinking about a blog entry I realized that this backache was coming in waves. After looking at the clock I saw they were every 5 minutes and lasting about a minute each. Exciting - I thought this is it! And it is , was, still is... 24 hours later and nothing has changed. I am still in early stage labor. I still am having contractions, a little bit farther apart and milder but this I am hoping is because I have been lying in bed for most of the night. Eventually this will have to progress... my back hurts and the rolling discomfort is a little trying. Especially when you are trying to sleep. My Mom and Dad came down last night and planted themselves in the hotel down the street in case of any nighttime hospital adventures. My doula is out of town until today so I'm thinking the peanut (there's one) was waiting for Rachel to get back. Jaime, who was our doula sub, told me that potentially this early labor can last a couple of days. Yuck!! This is not what I had pictured. But I guess the saying goes "Want to make god laugh, tell her your plans!" Aaron has to go in to Zingerman's to place the bread order and attend a morning meeting but is going to take the rest of the day off. If I have to put up with this - then he has to put up with me! :) I do have a scheduled ob/gyn appointment today at 1:30 so if things are still status quo we'll be able to see what she has to say. Although it will probably be a hardy "hang in there". Well that's all the news that is fit to print. I hope that you can check in here in a couple of days and see a picture of the little Pea! And find out the real name...

5 Days +/- 5

It's 7 am and I am up and about. My Saturday meeting is having a breakfast today so I thought I would make an apple cobbler. I should of made it last night but for some reason didn't. Now it's going to be hard to do it quietly so as to not wake Aaron up. Oh well.

I had a lot of dreams last night some of which involved labor. I think Aaron and I are both getting nervous as we realize with each passing day that the day is getting closer and the chance of going in to labor any day is getting higher. Aaron went and practiced a little retail therapy yesturday and bought himself (and me) a used Playstation 2. He was all sneaky about it and didn't consult with me before purchasing it which I thought was funny. Aaron really doesn't make a very good sneaky guy. I can't exactly get mad at him when he's so cute about it - and we have the money so no harm done. I think it provides him (and me) a way to check out and not think about this impending birth thing. As they say a watched pot never boils. So now we can play games obsessively rather than think about baby obsessively. It's sure hard to focus on anything else right now. Right, Mom? My mom has called me everyday for the last four days for some reason or another, although I know the real reason is to find out how I'm feeling and whether or not we are in labor. I promise I will call when it starts!! She's not very good at sneaky either. Ok, I'm off to bake.

Benign

Good news. The pathology report came back and the results showed the lesion as being benign. Mom, you can start sleeping again... That was good to hear.

No, I still haven't had the baby and would everyone please stop asking. Trust me, I will get the word out when the big event happens. :) We should really just be starting to anticipate this week or next. Everyday I get at least 10 people asking when I'm going to have the baby, or what am I still doing at school, etc. It's nice that everyone is excited, and I would probably be bummed if no one was asking, but I'm impatient and anxious enough all on my own!! Really, as of this week I am nervious and my belly is getting huge - I do think this little boy is going to be over 8 pounds.

I have a little break from school this weekend - we are on fall break which means I get Monday and Tuesday off. Well, I don't normally have classes on Mondays, so it's not such a huge deal but still I'm going to take some time to relax. Aaron and I have the day off with little or no plans, just a lot of sleeping and lounging going on. It's cold here so a good day for hot chocolate and a good book.

Me Again

The biopsy went well. They think that the lesion is filled with fluid which automatically means that it is benign, however they weren't able to draw any fluid out to confirm this so samples were sent to the lab to be checked. I find out the answer on Tues or Wed and will post the results then.

The baby dropped Thursday during the night so we are still right on schedule. This usually happens about 2 weeks before the birth for a first child. Having the baby lower in my abdomen makes things a little more difficult. It feels like I have a bowling ball sitting on my pelvis and bending has become much more difficult. The good news is that the heartburn has lessened although it hasn't gone away completely.

My Mom and Dad came down for a brief visit today to deliver a rocking chair they had fixed up for me with a new paint job and cushions. They also brought clothes and bottles that a friend of mine sent along from GR. This baby has more clothes than I do!! They also brought a breast pump that I had bought from Ruth (same friend) before Aaron's Dad came along with a new one for us. Now we have two. That's ok - I can probably bring back the new one as we haven't broken the seal on it. It is just amazing to me the generosity of friends. Matt and Maria provided us with most of the big gear such as bouncy chairs and swing, car seat, carriers and a whole lot more. So many people have given us gifts or hand me downs that I am a little overwhelmed with unpacking the bags and boxes! It's a nice situation to be in.

Who would have known that such a small little person would require (or acquire) so much stuff!

Awake @ 4:30 am

Good Morning! I have been awake since 4:30 am for no known reason - well, except that I am pregnant and life isn't normal. So I balanced the checkbook and paid bills and now I am catching up on the blog. It's been a busy week. Monday we had a little scare because there was some concern that I was leaking amniotic fluid. All turned out well and we haven't had the baby yet. They did tell me that I am starting to efface and that the things my body is doing puts me right on schedule. I assume that means not sleeping as well. Just love those coursing hormones!!

This morning Aaron and I go to have my biopsy done at 9:45. I will keep you updated with the results when I find out what they are. I'm sure it will take them a few days. Then later in the day, Rachel, our doula, comes over to give me a reflexology session which will just make it all better. For those not in the know this would be a foot massage/accupressure type thang. Mmmm... did I mention that my doula is a massage therapist by trade. Gotta love it!

The staff and faculty of UM Civil Engineering Department gave me a shower on Tuesday. That was very kind of them. I was thinking a little party with some cake and they went all out. The peanut got a a bunch more gifts (like he needed any more!!) and they also took a collection and gave Aaron and I a little $$. Or I suppose I could put that in the peanut's college fund, nah, diaper fund would be more appropriate at this point. I really picked a good place to go to school. We have a great department who are really supportive of my efforts to educate myself and my advisor is awesome. He just had a little boy a couple of months ago named Gabriel. It's nice because he is very understanding of where I'm at.

I was talking to him a couple of weeks ago about grad school and internships for next summer because now is the time to start planning these things. Also I was struggling with trying to get my GRE taken and thinking it just wasn't going to happen so I wanted to see what the reprocussions of me not taking it would be. I should be honest here and say retake it - because I took it once and did very well in the verbal and writing sections and bombed the math. Not good for an engineering student :) (I didn't figure I needed to study for the math part, whoops! ego). Anyway, I'm staying at UM for grad school, so they told me no biggy on the GRE, they know me and will except me as is. As for funding they will take care of me internally and I can try for external fellowships the following year. So that worked out good. Whew, one load off!

I got a little off track there. I was meaning to talk about the whole internship thing. Well, at the time my advisor had asked me where I wanted to work and not being prepared for this question I blurted out what would be my dream. Working for a company called ARUP in San Francisco for the summer! Aaron had mentioned that he could do an internship as well, Zingerman's encourages this, so I was thinking that would be a lot of fun. Prof Parra was open to this and although he didn't know anyone in ARUP SF, he mentioned other cities and businesses that sounded equally exciting. So I brought this whole crazy idea to Aaron and we talked and talked and thought about what really would be the logistics of working in SF for the summer with baby and all and threw out the idea as a little less than practical. Since the earlier conversation with my advisor, I hadn't really talked to him until yesturday. In between that time he had gone to a conference/meeting in Japan for a week. So yesturday I told him that Aaron, the peanut and I had decided to stay local. His response was "are you sure, because I talked to some people in Japan and you could probably work there and I talked to gentleman from a company in San Francisco and he said he had a position for me." YIKES!! Ok, so Japan is out. I'm not transporting husband, baby and me with all the gear to Japan. But, San Francisco sure is appealing. I think I have to follow up on this and at least find out what the offer is. If they provide housing and a good salary and we could subrent or something... It sure would be a good experience. See, I am really interested in seismic design and where better to learn than with a company who does it everyday! And well, San Francisco... I love it! I lived there for maybe 4.5 years and it sure is beautiful. And what great food. Aaron would be in heaven!

Ok, so there are at least a couple people in my family shaking there heads and thinking I'm crazy but... well you know me well enough to know that I have always been a risk taker. And shoot - Tokyo pregnant worked out well, so why not San Francisco with the baby and husband too? Anyway nothing is close to settled, I haven't even talked to the company yet. I just thought I would share... Life is a lotta fun.

Good Morning

It's becoming my ritual, or at least for the last three days to wake up around 7:30 and come in here and post to the blog. I sorta putts around on the computer until Aaron wakes up. I'm the morning person - he's not. Although since he stoped working until 1 or 2am at San Chez he seems to a least wake up around 9 rather than 11 or 12. I sorta envy this ability of his to sleep in on his days off. I'm one of those people whose body clock gets set and stays set so during the school year I'm up whether I am going to school or not. I guess this may come in handy with the little Pea. I fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow and I wake up early and if I am woken up in the middle of the night I usually fall right back asleep with little trouble. I guess I'll see how well this works out soon enough.

I scrubbed the kitchen table yesturday. I was told that one of the signs you will go into labor soon is that you get a burst of energy and start cleaning like crazy. I told Aaron I scrubbed the table while he was at work and his comment was "legs too?" when I answered yes he said it was a good thing we were ready. I also got about half my homework done, but I got my nap in too so I don't know. The diaper service delivers the first supply tomorrow. That'll make it all real. Since Thursday afternoon I have had relatively constant contractions. Layale said I should be glad of that. The more I have before I go into labor the less I'll have to have during labor. She's a good source of info as she worked for years as a nurse on the ob/gyn ward of UM Women's Hospital.

Peanut is squirming around in my belly so I guess he wants to say "HI" and "see ya soon" to everyone. Enjoy your Sunday.

Holiday Commentary

Aaron and I went to Meijer and Target yesturday in and amongst our errand running to get some little projects done before the baby comes. Anyway, I was shocked to see isles upon isles of Halloween paraphenalia and get this - Christmas stuff too!! Halloween used to mean just buying a pumkin, some candy, and making a fun costume with whatever we had around the house. In fact half of the fun was the creativity of making/finding a costume. When we went trick or treating we would often use pillowcases to collect the goods or I remember we also had these plastic pumkins my Mom had bought. Now I see lights and skulls and talking corpses and all kinds of crazy stuff, some of it not cheap at all!! Do people really buy all this crap? Is halloween going to turn into this massive consumer event as well? Aren't corn stalks enough anymore? And how do they get off putting out Christmas stuff in September? Who is thinking about Christmas already? Whatever happened to the sacred change in department stores that happened the day after Thanksgiving, when like majic, overnight all displays turn from turkeys to santas? Call me stubborn but I will not be buying Christmas cards until I at least see some snow and Aaron and I will continue to stick to our policy of trying to make as many of our Christmas presents as we buy. We aren't tight fisted - trust me when I say we spend a lot on making presents but it's just that we think that Christmas should be something more. Maybe I am getting old and nostalgic but I think that all this pressure to buy buy buy just isn't what it should be all about.

I love my country - don't get me wrong. But our consumer attitude I think sets us up for unhappiness. If we are told everyday that happiness is found externally - with a new car, a bigger house, or another new technological gadget (don't remind me of the new camera at this point) how can anyone ever be content? There is always something bigger and better out there. That and the sense of entitlement that comes with it. That somehow I deserve to have cheap gas or new clothes every season. So much so that we rationalize killing people and other heinous acts all in the name of cheap gasoline. I say let the prices rise to what other people pay in the rest of the world. Oil is a rare (and getting rarer) commodity. We should pay it's market value and then maybe people would stop buying Hummers. And yes we own a Jeep Cheerokee that gets maybe 17 mpg but I also only drive it when I have to and we only own one car. Aaron and I usually take the bus to school and work. Besides I bought it from a friend because it was a good car that I knew would last. It currently has over 166,000 miles on it without a tick. My brother's Jeep has almost 250,000 miles on it without major problems. And our car is paid off and we are not enthusiastic about gaining a car payment again.

So I am hardly exempt from the consumerism. I like to shop, I own a big car, but I don't bitch when gas prices go up, I cheer! Because I know that I drive less when gas is expensive, demand for economical cars goes up, less pollution happens because people are driving less and driving more economical cars. Whats the problem with that?

This is just one of my rants. Call me a sentimental, idealistic, bleeding heart liberal. I'm proud to be one. Hike gas prices! Feed the hungry! And so one... but at the same time, I am hardly going to leave all my worldly goods to live a monastic life in a cave somewhere. Heck, I want to be an engineer for many reasons, one of which is because it makes good money and we'll be able to send our kids to college some day so they can make good money.

How do I sleep at night :) Just as long as there aren't Christmas lights in September to keep me awake - I do ok.

The Waiting Game

This is me at 8 months prego and Aaron trying to imagine what it must feel like or maybe he's just mocking me :) The little peanut isn't so little anymore. I'm not so sure I'm going to have that average size baby of seven pounds that I was thinking earlier. I would guess that he is going to be at least 8. As of yesturday we are considered full term! So we have the bag packed for the hospital and today Aaron and I need to figure out how to put the baby seat in the car. This may require all of my engineering skills :) It is almost like the Pea knew that yesturday was a milestone. I had mild contractions all day - on and off. Ever time I would sit down for any length of time and then stand up my belly would clench. I went to see the doc for my check up yesturday and she was excited about this. But don't everyone come rushing down - these were just Braxton Hicks contractions - mild and irregular. It would be nice to have the baby next week though 'cause I have 3 big assignments due and I can't think of a better way to get out of that!

Everyone seems surprised that I plan on attending school right up to the birth and then returning as soon as possibly. Just to clarify this - it's not like I am trying to be a martyr here but I don't see that I have any choice. It's not like the University provides maternity leave to students. And if I don't attend classes I don't receive financial aid - without financial aid I would have to get some crappy job that wouldn't provide maternity leave either. And then there is the idea that if I don't get these classes out of the way, next year I would start my sixth year of undergrad. Yikes!! That doesn't sound appealing! Anyway the sooner I get done with my undergrad the sooner I get funded and then insurance is free and I have an income. I think that goes along way towards taking care of myself and the little Pea. Sorry I guess I needed to get that off my chest. I just have so many people that are like "why are you even taking classes this term?" or "when are you going to stop coming to school" or "your not finishing the semester, are you?". I think when you are in your mid twenties, live with your parents in the summer and they pay for most of your school, you don't quite get the concept of doing what you have to to survive. I really don't mind it. Ok, it would be nice to sit on my ass and eat bonbons all day but I wasn't raised that way. Most school days I am exhausted by the end of the day, but it is helping me sleep and keeping my mind off of things. What else would I do? I'm sure that all the farm women and peasant women in long ago didn't have maternity leave either.

I stubbed my little pinky toe last weekend and broke it (or at least I am pretty sure I did). That was entertaining. For one day I stayed in bed with my toe on ice and the next day I couldn't put shoes on so I wore my slippers around all day. One week later I can wear shoes but my toe is black and blue and swollen still. It's not like I even have a good story that involves race cars or alligator wrestling. I just stubbed my poor toe on the door jamb.

I have been at the doctor more times in the last three weeks than anybody deserves! I go to the ob/gyn weekly now and one week we had an appointment with the pediatrician's nurse practicioner (Nurse Ratched!!) as well as me having to get a lump checked out in my breast. The lump I found they decided was nothing but they found something else in the process. So the last couple of weeks I have been also going to see various specialists about this. I am lucky to live in Ann Arbor with all the expert medical services we have here but sometimes I think this means twice as many doctor appointments as you get shuffled from one clinic to the next to find the doctor that specializes in just your predicament. So this Friday I go and have what is called a "Fine Needle Aspiration with Ultrasound" done. Essentially they are going to take a small sample of the tissue and biopsy it. The doctor that was finally assigned to me (a specialist ob/gyn and breast oncology man) doesn't think that this is anything to worry about but since we have breast cancer rampant in my mothers side of the family, he wants it checked out. He just thinks it is my breasts getting ready to do their thing and maybe we have some extra tissue or a blocked duct or something.

There were a couple of days when they first found the lump that I was essentially freakin' out. After all - how melodramic can it be to be pregnant and have breast cancer! This really appealed to my sense of drama. Then I decided I didn't have the time or energy to worry about this right now and all the fussing isn't going to make a bit of difference. It'll be what it'll be. See that good German stoicism comes in handy some times! :) Ok well didn't mean to worry all of you folks either but since this is my online journal, I have to be honest. I write for myself mostly these days so it's like the risk you took when you read your sister's diary. You may not always like what you find. :)

Today looks like another beautiful fall day and Aaron and I both have the day off. I have been on the computer since 7am and it's now almost 9. So I think it's time to put on the coffee for Aaron and jump in the shower. Have a good day!

Last Minute Prep

This is Aaron's "I'm so geeked I'm gonna be a Dad" look. Cute isn't it? We both feel this way much of the time. We are making some of the last preparations for bringing the Peanut home with us. One of the things we splurged on was a new camera. We had a pretty ok one that was great when we first got it but that's probably been 5 years ago and we all know how technology changes. Suddenly 2 Mega Pixels and no zoom wasn't enough! Blame this one on me. So we splurged a little and we'll make another step in the attempt to bring my parents into the digital age and give them the old one.

We are also stunned to find out that on Thursday we will be full term (37 weeks) and should be ready to go to the hospital anytime. So this week we pack a bag for the three of us and install the baby seat in the back seat. Wow. Although I think that we are as ready as we ever will be. It's not like Aaron and I are 20 years old and our lives are going to go through this big change. I'm sure there will be some changes but many of our friends already have children and we already think that a big night includes a homemade dinner and rented movie. And on really big nights this is done at a friends house or they come join us.

School is a bit overwhelming at this point. I thought that only taking two classes was going to be a breeze but it isn't turning out that way. It's hard. And there is some pressure to start thinking about an intership for next summer, fellowship applications for grad school, and other stuff. I am supposed to be retaking my GRE because the first time around I bombed the math section. Which I am confident was a case of a bad day and not studying and thankfully my professors feel the same way. I don't need this to attend grad school at UM as they know me and aren't worried about test scores but I do need this to apply for fellowships. I went and talked to my Professor and he reasured me that if I don't get the test taken it would be ok. The University would provide me with a fellowship - it's just that having outside funding makes it a lot easier. And of course a NSF fellowship is quite prestigious.

It sure would be nice if my life could pause while I have a baby. It just doesn't seem to be happening that way. I guess this is a good reason to get your higher education while still young and then have a family after completing school. But then again when have I ever done anything the easy way!!

Layale & Brian

First I have to tell you that Tear and Cleo went to the vet on Friday and we were dismayed to find out that Tear has gained 2 pounds. She now tips the scale at 18# 6oz! This is bad... she has gained another 10% + in body weight from the last visit. The vet warned us that if she gets much bigger we will be faced with the possibility of a diabetic cat. She then threatened that it was either control her food intake or give her insulin shots twice a day. But what do you do? If we feed them with separate dishes Tear will eat hers and then eat Cleo's food. And she cries incessantly if she doesn't have food in her dish at all times. I don't know... damn cats.

Aaron and I met with our doula for the first time on Friday. Her name is Rachel and she seems to be very nice. We went over our 'birth plan' which is were we state all of our wishes for our labor and delivery understanding that things don't always go as planned. It sure is a different world than the one I was birthed into. There are so many decisions: meds or no, vaccinations or not, positions, when to cut the cord, to save the cord blood or not, circumcision, etc, etc... I feel I have to have a minor in medicine to make decisions for our child. This vaccination thing is currently on my mind. First there is this issue of mercury in the vaccinations which causes autism. Now it is supposed to be phased out of the vaccines but the law didn't require that all the stock containing mercury be thrown out so it is still out there. Then there are studies that most of childhood brain development occurs in the first two years and all the vaccines we give (sometimes 8 at a time!) are too much for the immune system and this also can cause harm to brain development, maybe... studies are still being conducted. Then again, well... vaccines do a lot of good and what if my child gets some crazy old time disease like polio. I couldn't live with the guilt. I'm currently leaning towards not vaccinating until after two years but these are hard decisions to make. And I thought all I had to decide was cloth or disposable diapers!

Last night Aaron and I went over to Layale and Brian's for dinner. They are going to be the peanut's god parents of a sort. One of the decisions we made was that we weren't going to baptize our child at birth. We want to raise him in a spiritual practice but not necessarily a religious one. Then he can make his own decisions as he gets older. But we still want Layale and Brian to hold a special place in the Peanut's life. So we were thinking Fairy Godparents!! I really like this idea since Fairy Godparents make wishes come true and that's what Brian and Layale have done for us and the Peanut. A little backstory here for those who aren't in the know. Peanut was conceived through the miracle of modern science and friendship. Aaron and I had been trying to conceive with the help of the UM Reproductive Endocrinology Clinic for about a year with no luck. That year was one of the hardest years to date. The doctor's next recommendation was to try in vitro - a very expense process. None of this is covered by insurance mind you. We just didn't have the money to try in vitro but nothing else was working. So we were trying hard to come to grips with the fact that whether or not we were going to have a child was based on our income. It just didn't seem fair and adoption was even more expensive! This is heart wrenching stuff and I had been talking to my friends to help me get through it. Well one day Layale came up to me and told me that her and Brian had been talking it over and they had recently received a fair inheritance some of which they wanted to invest in something that "would make the world a better place" and they felt that Aaron and I having a baby would do that. She handed me a check for the cost of the in vitro and told me to consider it a long term loan. To be honest we didn't know if we could except such generosity but this is exactly what we had been praying for - so how can you turn down a gift from god? The rest is a short story. The in vitro worked the first time (doesn't happen that way often!) and the Peanut started his life.

Ok so now I have outed Brian and Layale for the kind and loving people that they are. Now you know why they are Peanut's Fairy Godparents. Great story isn't it, and even better because it is all true. And bonus! they have three wonderful daughters - all of babysitting age!!

Isn't life wonderful!

Chilly Fall Day

Fall is my favorite time of year and it's only going to get better. It's a quiet chilly fall morning - one of the first of the year. It's Sunday and Aaron has the day off. Yesturday at the market I picked up some Mac's and Bartlett Pears and I think it is a perfect day for some baking. Ahhh... the first apple pie of the season. Mmmm... I love fall for the smell of the air, the color of the trees, the harvest, and because of halloween and my birthday. And soon it will mean so much more with the birth of little pea. This is the first day in a while where Aaron and I don't have any plans, no errands to run, no packing or unpacking to do. Just looking forward to a long day of doing nothing together. I'm going to relish it because I believe everyone when they say these days will be gone soon, not to come back till the kids are all off to college (I hope!).

I feel at peace today after spending the last two days panicing about this idea of being a mother. It's an awfully big commitment and one that there is no getting out of. I rationalized getting married because I figured if I screwed it up too badly I could always opt out of the commitment but this one is REALLY forever. Since my marriage to Aaron just gets better everyday I guess I didn't make a mistake there so I have hope that I won't screw up motherhood too badly. I've talked to a few real life professional mommas and they have been great about telling me the hardest thing about motherhood is letting go. That I am not in charge of how my child turns out - I can only provide an example and teach them what I know. The rest is the individual journey we all must make - mistakes and all. After all I didn't exactly take the recommended path to adulthood but in the end I think I turned out ok. Aaron and I will do the best we can just as millions of parents before us and let god sort out the rest.

Ok too much philosophy. One of the gifts Aaron and I have to give is our ability to bake so Apple pie here I come!! Yum.

Little Bitch Session

First let me say that I love being pregnant. It is such a joy to see my belly growing bigger and to feel the little peanut growing inside of me. That said - this is getting a little hard. I have carpal tunnel in both my wrists and hands with my right hand being the worst. My belly is getting so big that movement is difficult and finding a comfortable position is next to impossible. Sleep is a challange with my hips getting achy and my hands going numb which requires frequent changes of position but changing from lying on one side to lying on the other is like trying to turn the Queen Mary around in a bathtub. And the pillows I have between my knees and under my belly and head all need to get turned as well. I try to organize the turning with the 3-4 trips I make to the bathroom a night but that doesn't always work. I have enough energy to actively participate in life for a half of a day at a time before I begin to respond like a zombie and then crash like I have been up for days. I try to limit my nap to an hour and a half so I have some hope of deeper sleep at night but I think maybe I should give this up. But nothing is as pleasantly reasuring as my mom in law and mom telling me that it is only going to get worse. Six more weeks. Six more weeks that will last for an eternity and a mear instant simultainiously.

Ok so that is my bitch. Again let me remind you how incredible it all is at the same time. I am so grateful for the life that I have today and the promise of new life within me. Aaron and I are terrified and so excited to meet the little pea and welcome him to his new world. I hope he finds it as full of wonder as I do.

How to Comment - Without Creating Your Own Blog

Hi! I probably should have written this eons ago - but what can I say? I think most have figured this out but if not - here goes. If you would like to leave a comment but don't want to create your own blog, you click once on the comment link at the bottom of the entry you would like to comment on. You then write a comment in the box provided and when finished, click on the button next to 'Other' under the comment you wrote. You can then type your name where it is indicated. That's it!! Pretty easy and no need to be anonymous. This makes it more fun to know who wrote a comment, but of course you are welcome to stay 'anonymous' as well. There is some risk that I will delete your comment as I occasionally get comments that are solicitations or just completely inappropriate. Thanks for stopping by!

I had a 33 week check up with the doc and me and the peanut are still doing great. My womb measured 34 cm and his heartbeat was in the 140's. Exactly where they are supposed to be. I think that the little pea might come out pretty close to average in size since all his measurements from day one have been completely average. I'm beginning to struggle with sleep. Rolling over is this big impossible ordeal and yet if I stay in one position too long my hips ache and my hands go numb. I have pregnancy carpal tunnel which they promise me will disappear after delivery. It has made school a challenge as my right hand is the worst. Writing can be tricky with numb fingers and sore wrists. I also struggle with a certain apathy towards school which I have never had before. I think it stems from being tired all the time. I hope it goes away as well, although this last year might just involve showing up and suiting up whether I want to or not as I don't anticipate my sleep hours improving any time soon. :) It all is so worth it though and it really seems as though I have little to complain about since my life is so incredibly awesome!!

Go Tigers!

Ok. I'm back. We had a minor emergency last night but all has worked out just fine. This is a picture of my delightful nephew Jeffrey on his tenth birthday. We went to see the Tigers play against the Anaheim Angels Sunday night. My brother, Alan, and his two boys, Jeff and Brett, came down and both Aaron and I went to the game with them. It was Aaron's first Tigers game since the World Series winning year of 1984. Unfortunately the Tigers lost 2-1 but it was a good game with lots of excitement. None of these pitchers matches with no hits! Blah! I've developed a paranoid complex that it is my fault the Tigers lost. I have never gone to see a sporting event where the home team has won. I'm a jinx it seems. So Aaron and I are going to see the last game of the season against Kansas City so we may lose that one too...

We went to the game nice and early so the boys could cash in on a free backpack give away and so we got to watch batting practice. We had a fun time trying to get autographs for the boys but with no luck. Oh well we don't need no stinking autograph if only the Tigers would win the series this year! No, I'm not a particularly huge baseball fan or any sport fan but you can't help but route for the home team when they have been such underdogs for so many years.

Peanut's Room

This is the little Pea's room. My mom donated a crib, my mom in law brought it down, lots of great shower gifts and a trip (or two) to Ikea gave us a great space to welcome the peanut to. Aaron and I had lots of fun nesting and setting everything up. Now it just needs an occupant! I'm so excited as the weeks pass. This Thursday means we have only six weeks to go. I started school today and that I know will make the time just fly by. My advisor, Prof Parra, had a little boy last Wednesday who is just adorable and Aaron's cousin, Shane, and his wife, Christine, welcomed a little girl into the world yesturday. I get all especially giddy when I hear about new babies these days. It's funny, I don't really remember sharing in the excitment when my nieces and nephews were born. I just didn't 'get it' at the time. Now that we are having my own I realize what a miracle a baby is.

Only one person at school today mentioned my obvious pregnancy. Do they think I just put on a serious beer belly over summer??!! Maybe I should read the previous paragraph where I didn't really get it at that age either... Hmmm... Still I thought it was funny, maybe if I was wearing something less baggy than my overalls. Oh well. They'll figure it out with the sudden weight loss in just a few weeks - or not. It doesn't really matter to me.

Well I just got a phone call and I'm off to help a friend - so maybe I'll finish this later. If not there is more to come.

Busy Week

Hi all! I know it has been awhile since you've seen a posting from me. I had a very busy week last week. I got my paper written or at least a rough draft turned in to the program and both my Japan and US advisors. That was a big weight off of my shoulders. That was on Thurs, on Friday I went to Grand Rapids where I had a shower on Saturday with friends and one on Sunday with family. Both were loads of fun and I had a chance to see a lot of people I haven't seen in awhile. Even my sister in law flew in from Florida which was quite a treat. And oh! did I mention the presents. Peanut is hooked up! WOW!

Wednesday during Lamaze class I felt my first contraction. No worries, before the actual event women have what's called Braxton Hicks contractions. They are essentially just practice for your body. It was wild. It brought it home that the little pea has only 7 weeks +/- 1 to hang out in his cozy little home. I know he's getting a little cramped in there - about once a day he trys to stretch out and wiggle his little butt right under my ribs. Not comfy. I can see me making the statment in a few weeks that it is time for this baby to be out of my belly! Little wiggler.

Aaron and I took this great class together on making pastry at Bake! (a Zingerman's bakehouse adventure). Essentially the bakehouse opened up a teaching kitchen next to the bakehouse where they will be teaching baking classes. Because Aaron is a Zcob employee we had the opportunity to take one of the test classes for free and he signed us up for pastries. Lots of fun!! We made our own croissant and danish doughs and also formed and baked a dough they had prepared for us. So Aaron and I brought home six boxes of pastries and 2 batches of croissant dough and 2 batches of danish doughs. We also won the fixings for another batch of each. If you come visit expect to be fed pastries. It was a bit of a long day for me, but a great way to spend time with each other.

Well that's it for now. I should have more as this weekend is Labor Day and amongst other activities my brother and nephews are coming down for a Tigers game! Go Tigers!

Peanut Update

Hi All! I am now 31+ weeks pregnant with the peanut and mostly feeling great - but occasionally I feel like the top photo. The warrior momma image was Aaron's idea (just for the record). He thought it would be good to have some pictures to threaten the peanut with as he gets bigger and more difficult. You get the idea - "You better behave or your mom will turn into warrior momma and come at you with the Katana!!"

I'm feeling a little overwhelmed right now with all the preparations for the birth and nesting. I feel like I have to have it all done before school starts because then all my extra energy will need to go towards that. I'm taking two classes this fall - Steel Design and Hydrology. Both are lab classes so that will take a little more. I have it worked out that I am at school only Tues, Wed and Thurs. Aaron is going to schedule himself for evenings those days or he may have to open on Wed so I can make my lab. We have to figure that out too - although not until the arrival. He does get two weeks off and well I get whatever I need balanced with trying not to fall too far behind. Some how it'll all work out. I hope. Well I guess it has too.

We did get a Doula through the Center for the Childbearing Year. They got a grant to offer Doula services to low income familys (we qualify!). Aaron and I are both excited about that. They asked me some questions and said that they will try to find a match for us and get back to me in a couple of weeks. It'll just be nice to have someone that knows our wishes advocating for us and helping us both keep focused on the goal during labor. I went to see the doctor Friday and Monday. Friday was a consultation with the high risk OB.GYN due to some glitches in my medical history but I got a 100% go ahead from them. So the baby is at no risk and we can carry on as we were - that was a big weight off of my shoulders. The regular appointment on Monday went well too. The peanut is head down, has a heart beat of 137-143, and my womb is 31 inches top to bottom (yikes). The little guy is moving around a lot still but more from side to side at this point. He should stay head down until the delivery (we hope!) because he just doesn't have the room anymore for those manoeuvers. Aaron was able to hear his heart beat last night and we had some fun reading Dr Suess', "Cat in the Hat" to the little Pea. I think he liked it because he was wiggling around whenever we stopped.

It all just seems so crazy that we are going to be parents. Even at 25 (shh...) it feels like I'm not old enough to be someone's Mom.

Showers!!

I had my first baby shower yesturday and it was a blast! This one was all the girls in Ann Arbor, we got together at Maria's house and Kendra gave her a hand. It was great - thanks to everyone!! Lots of good food and lots of good presents for the peanut. I have a lot of talented friends and family. Layale knitted a green sweater, Mary made blankets with crocheted lace trim, Cathy knitted this amazing white fancy blanket and there were lots more! I don't know that I will ever have the patience and perceverence to do those kind of things. I just don't sit still that well. Speaking of sitting still I need to get back to writting up a paper on the research I did in Japan. I just can't seem to get it done with all my concentration on the little peanut and the preparations for his arrival. Classes, doctors appointments, showers and still unpacking! Throw in a little procrastination and no school type work gets done at all.

Hi All

So I'm at work delaying the inevitable need to start working again after lunch. My postings continue to be without photos as I haven't found the camera since we started unpacking. I think I know where it is but well... I'll get there eventually. We still don't have internet service at home but I hope that will be rectified with the delivery of a new modem today or tomorrow. My great great aunt who was 104 years old recently passed away. An amazing feat of perserverence. I was going to say something about hoping I last that long but to be honest, I don't want to live that long. I'll just take the normal regulation life.

The peanut and I are feeling kinda blah and tired lately. I'm sure these two things are related to each other. Nothing sounds very interesting and I don't feel like doing anything, mainly because everything tires me out. I also can't seem to find anything to do that doesn't require money. We have a shortage of that this month (every month!!) since we had to pay rent on the old place and the new. I eagarly await the mail each day to see if we got our deposit back and if our modem has arrived. That's it, that's my daily excitment - did the mailman come yet.

I'm supposed to be writing this paper on my work in Japan and I can't seem to get motivated. Just a case of the blahs, I guess. Well maybe it would be easier to work on the paper if I was sitting by the pool. Yea, that's it, I just need a change of scenery!!

Moved

Hi all! Aaron, the Peanut and I are all moved into the new digs. We love our new apartment! We have twice the square footage of our last place, central air and a swimming pool! I don't see getting tired of this place any time soon. There are still plenty of boxes hanging out but the majority of our things have found a home and the apartment is starting to look and feel less like someones else's. I've been swimming a couple of times and just can't imagine a time that we will get bored with this. I went and bought myself a sexy prego bathing outfit which is composed of granny style undies and a tank top! If I hadn't of told you, you wouldn't have been able to tell it from a real bathing suit and it certainly cost me a lot less. Maria, Matt, and Maya are coming over for dinner and a swim tomorrow - our first bit of entertainment in the new apartment. This is one of the things I think Aaron and I are both looking forward too again. When we had the house we used to love having friends over to cook for and then in the dinky apartment it just wasn't possible (although we tried and our friends were always dear enough not to complain!). Now Aaron has a big kitchen to cook in again and I know he's happy - and so are the stomachs of the peanut and I!! Whenever I find the box with the camera in it, I will take some pics of the new digs and post them. The cats are happier too and I am hoping with the greater space the fat one will get more running around in and will eat less out of boredom. That's the hope anyway. I swear she got bigger in the time I was in Japan.

Aaron and I started Lamaze classes on Wednesday. Somehow that made it all real. We are having a baby and it won't be too long before it happens. WOW!! As of yesturday, we are 30 weeks prego. That leaves us 10 weeks to prepare for the great adventure. Although all the women I know tell me there really is no way to really prepare for it. Gulp. We found out lots of good info in the class (and did some breathing!). It is my hope to make it through au naturale, at least as much as I can. We found out that if our income is low enough (this is most likely true :) we can get a doula for free. For those who don't live in such a hot bed of crazy fun modern liberalism as Ann Arbor, a doula is a professional birth coach. The doula will work with the mother and father to help them have the best birth experience possible with out using drugs unless of course an emergency arises. Aaron and I are all about it and we actually have a friend who moved down here from GR who does this - so I'm gonna give her a call today.

I am hanging out at the coffee shop with Maria because the move instigated a internet emergency and we are not hooked up at home right now. ARGH!! After spending 2 hours or more on the phone with SBC we determined that our modem took a dump so we have to wait 3-5 busimess days to get back online. So if I am not as responsive as usual this is the reason. Well, take care all and I will see or post to you soon.

Happily Ever After

I told you I would get back to you on that pic of Emily's wedding - well here it is. She looked beautiful and Nate, well, looked like Nate. :) She got a new tattoo for her wedding which shows two love birds and the word Nathan under it on her arm. I don't know where she gets such ideas! :) But at least Aaron and I just used our initials - just in case. I'm happy for her. Now that I am back at home I don't know that there is as much to report. As I said the doctor gave me a thumbs up and we are moving on Monday the 7th, please feel free to join in the fun! So this week I have been busy catching up with the ol' home management type work as well as catching up with work work. Mostly it seems just getting my bearings and patching up any emergencys. It is good to feel needed. It'll be a busy weekend with packing and all. But Aaron did a lot of this while I was gone and now it's just finding room for more boxes and figuring out what we can pack and still live. I was complaining about the heat in Japan but I sure stepped into it this week in Ann Arbor. I am REALLY looking forward to moving into an apartment with central air and a swimming pool! Actually the one thing in my life that I am not in love with is this apartment. I've been putting up with it but enough is enough. It's hard to be comfortable in an apartment this small. Even the cats are unhappy. I'm hoping with the bigger place the fat one will lose a little weight and stop pacing and crying all the time. She's been pissed since we moved from the house - for good reason. Our life isn't an easy one what with the economics of me being in school but I sure am happy. I sometimes feel like I am living in a fairy tale... happily ever after is a good place. This is what I wish for Emily.

Ah... Sleepless in Ann Arbor

Hi all. It's actually not that bad. By now I make it to about 5am before waking up. I think in the next couple of days life will be back to normal. I went to see the doc yesturday and everything looks fine. The little peanut is just as active as ever - I think he's showing off his newly learned Judo moves to his Dad. It sure is nice to be home although I had a certain amount of work that piled up while I was away and that was just at home! I am headed into school today. I figure I better stay busy today so I'm not tempted to take one of those five hours naps that I indulged in the last two days and have probably contributed to my whack sleep schedule. It'll be good to get back to it and get my work done before we move. Aaron had packed up most of the house while I was gone so it was a little shocking to walk in the door. I'm looking forward to the move to an apartment with central air considering it has been in the high 90's the last two days. The move will be happening the weekend of the 11th with most of the work getting done on Friday. If anyone is in the Ann Arbor area feel free to pitch in!! Well I'm off to run errands as I think the rest of the world is awake now. Peace.

Home Again

Hi everyone! I made it back in one piece and just in time to see Emily walk down the aisle. She looked incredible and had the sweetest backyard wedding. I balled when I saw her and then Tom broke down and soon the whole place was passing around the tissues. It was a great moment! I'm so proud of her and she looks so happy. I got to see a bunch of people I hadn't seen for awhile, it's too bad I was mostly incoherent and couldn't stay for very long. I managed to stay up until about 9pm and then crashed. I wish the sleep was a little longer lasting - I was awake again at 3am. So Ohayo-gosimase (good morning)! It is so nice to be home and with my family. Aaron and I chatted all the way from DTW to GR, I wanted to sleep but just couldn't stop talking to him it was so nice to see him again. Mom's been feeding me melon this morning which is just soooooo delicious. Did I mention that fresh fruit is an expensive commodity in Tokyo and that I haven't had any in 5 weeks. It's lovely stuff and I am so grateful to live in Michigan. For someone who hated growing up in boring ol' Michigan, I sure do love it now. I'll post a pic of the wedding when I get home to Ann Arbor and can download photos and all that stuff. Glad to be back and will continue to keep everyone posted.

Success!

Hello! I have sucessfully completely the presentation and I am told it went well. Tonite I go out with the Japanese students in my lab and tomorrow I fly! Tonite I am also trying to figure out how to fit all my stuff back into the bags. Hmmm.... ok well I just wanted to let y'all know the presentation went well. I'll see you tomorrow.
love, e-

Last Day

It's my last full day in Japan. Tomorrow I wake up and try to fit all my stuff back into the (what seems like now) small bags I brought and fight my way to the airport. Yesturday our lab group played baseball against the lab group on the 9th floor. We lost. It was the peanut's first baseball game. Ahhh... The funniest thing was that at the end of the game the two teams lined up facing each other and bowed. Very Japanese. The woman in the picture is named Kaori. Don't try to pronounce this you could hurt yourself. She's been a peach and has helped me out a great deal in the lab. She speaks pretty good English so it's been a good thing. She's tryed to teach me Japanese but I think after awhile gave me up as a hopeless case. The other photo is my desk - nice view, huh? It's made daydreaming really easy.
Well I got the presentation done and I present at noon so if any of y'all are up at 11pm still - please send happy thoughts. Most of you probably won't even be reading this until I am on the plane and headed back to the US. I'll be happy to see the blue skys of Michigan and to fly over the Great Lakes and know that I am almost there. Thanks for all of your support, I have been checking the comments you've made obsessively and really appreciate all the help. Please keep checking in as I will probably just convert this to the "OH MY GOD WE ARE HAVING A BABY!" blog. Then you too can watch the cavorting of little baby Stek and the panicing of his parents. Lots of fun to come! Love you all. elizabeth - checking out from Japan.

3 More Days

Hello! I am taking a little break from Power Point madness. Ok, maybe I'm being a little melodramatic but that's just my way. Things are starting to come together. I have figured out an answer to my New Zealand dilema, which is really just too tedious to explain but it essentially kept me from determining a transverse reinforcement area for the joint. This actually makes sense to a couple people that might be reading this blog. If your not one of them, don't worry, it really isn't one of the great mysteries in life and you aren't missing out on anything exciting. I will be skipping out on the baseball challenge tomorrow where our lab group will be playing two games against another lab group. I think they're on to something here. What do you say - structures vs materials?? It's interesting because the lab groups here have activities throughout the year, sorta a forced break from studies to relax and have fun. Once a year they actually go away for a weekend retreat together. I think they should do this for us at UM? I suggested the baseball tournament to Professor Parra and he told me I was welcome to organize it. ARGH!! I wasn't looking for more work. :)

I am glad to hear that upon my return all of my familial peeps would be gathering at the Windsor clan home for a pica-nic boo boo, even the in law familials. All those familial units not in Florida that is. Josh is even bringing a new girl friend. WOW! Is he brave or what! Mom, if corn and peaches are is season, can you make a run to Versluis on Satuday? So they're nice and fresh...it's for the peanut... The poor guy is being subjected to an aweful diet this week. I have been busy and grabbing Bento Boxes and Micky Dee's for food, if you call it that. At the beginning of this pregnancy, Aaron and I had grand ideas that I was only going to eat organic and fresh homemade type foods. That this baby was not going to be filled with perservatives and whatever else they put in food these days. Well lets say I haven't exactly been able to hold up to those fine ideals under the pressure of Tokyo. I'm lucky if I know what I'm eating, none the less whether there are nitrates or perservatives in it!! Some of this concerns me but I guess I can only do my best. Which may not include McDonalds but it may not be the worst I have eaten. Well gotsa go back to work. See y'all soon!!

ARGH!!!

This is me venting because I have having problems with my project and I'm behind and English Standard Units are just stupid! Why is the US so stubborn that we have to do everything different from everyone else in the world. Anyway there is what feels like remarkably little time before this journey has ended. I have today and tomorrow to get it all done, a site survey on Wednesday and if it ever stops raining, on Thursday we are all supposed to be playing baseball, Friday is the symposium and farewell party, then Saturday I fly. No worries, me and the pea aren't playing baseball, we'll be the cheering section. He's not old enough for baseball yet.

So since I won't get my welcome home dinner at my home... I am officially volunteering Aaron to cook dinner on Sunday at Ma and Pa Windsor's. We are going there directly from the airport on Saturday so that I can go to Emily's wedding (freakin' yet, girl?). Then we will be staying for the weekend to visit with everyone and relax. I had informed Aaron that I wanted one of his fruit cobblers, some fried chix or other very American food, vanilla ice cream and a cold root beer upon my arrival home. :) It's so hard to have cravings in a foreign country... So I'm thinking maybe he can just cook for me and any other GR peeps that are in the neighborhood at the Windsor clan home. Just putting it out there... yummmmmmmmm... I miss my husband's cooking the most. Ok maybe his company too, but you understand, the peanut is hungry!! Aaron, feel free to comment and tell me to be reasonable. I'm just getting excited about being back stateside and somehow I want everything I love immediately upon my return. I want it all and I want it now!! Hee Hee.

Just a side note. It is so humid out that the mirror in the toilet at school is fogged up. I don't think I've ever seen that before. Mom, you should see my curls - it's a bit ridiculous. Ok, back to work, it's just that my brain was turning to mush and I needed to work on something else for a minute to clear the detrius.

Japanese Gardens

These Japanese sure do know how to create gardens. This is one that is in my neighborhood, easily walking distance. Many of the Japanese gardens are original to the periods of the Shoguns. They are beautifully kept and manicured. I walked around for a couple of hours and don't think I traveled every path. I certainly see the draw because I needed down time away from all the people and I found some peace here. It made for a nice break. I am hanging out on the balcony so it's not raining :) The rest of the troupe climbed Mt Fuji last night so they could be at the top to see the sun rise. This means that my roomie got back around 4 or 5 and prompty went to sleep. This meant I couldn't really hang out in the room. So I was off to do laundry and try to find this Napoli restaurant I had found a couple of weeks ago. After much searching - streets are usually named nor do buildings have addresses - I found it. Somehow there is a Japanese man who learned how to make awesome Italian food in the style of Napoli. I had a pasta putinesca (sorry Aaron, I spelled that wrong) while my laundry spun. I made an attempt to go see a Kabuki theater piece today with no success. After getting there a half hour early I waited in line to have the show sell out about 15 people before me. The first 3 floors of the theater are reserved seats but the cheep seats were all gone. The 4th floor they set aside as general seating and for people who just want to see one act as Kabuki is a bit like Opera in it's length and lack of interest to the average joe. I will make an attempt tomorrow as I actually like Opera and would like to see both acts of a Kabuki performance but I found out that I should be there about 3 to stand in line for a seat. Well worth it as far as I am concerned!! I'll report in and let you know how it goes. I can't take photos during the performance for obvious reasons but maybe I can get a commemorative program or something. Tourist on the loose! I can't wait to get home and see you all. Japan is grand but it ain't home. One more week.

Raining Again

I think this is why they call it the monsoon season... I went on a site survey of a building that is being retrofited with base isolators and carbon fiber. The carbon fiber is used on the floor to make it a part of the lateral load system and then anchored to the masonry walls with carbon fiber anchors. It was very interesting as I had not heard of this being done before and it seems to be very logical. The building is old, historic and very beautiful so traditional lateral braces couldn't be used. The walls were brick and so very weak in an earthquake. Carbon fibers in a diagonal grid were spread on the floor with resin and then 40cm fibers were placed with resin in 20 cm holes drilled in the structural walls around the perimeter, the other 20 cm of fiber was fanned out on the floor and resined down. Very interesting. I have so much work and so little time left. We have another site survey on Wed, Thurs the lab group has a baseball tournament and Friday is the symposium. Ahhh... they'll be no siteseeing this weekend! I will take time out to go to Kabuki theater on Sat. That should be awesome.

Rain

I forgot to mention that it finally stopped raining!! Which means that tomorrow it will probably be back to temps in the high 80's and humidity in the same range. Bitch Bitch. Although by the sound of things I should be grateful for the weather I have. Michigan is rather toasty. Thank goodness the new apartment has central air and a swimming pool. See the pregnant lady float!! These are gummy legos - very cool. I bought some and very quickly ate them. Sorry boys! I could buy some more but I don't think they would make the trip back. Yum Yum n' so Fun. I wonder if the Pigeon actually lives in every country or city on this planet? Although in Tokyo they are out numbered by the Ravens. The Japanese can't possibly think that the Raven is the harbringer of death as we do since they are way too many, everywhere. Hmmm... just ramblin' and procrastinatin'

More Tokyo Madness

This is Ueno Station. One of the bigger stations in Toyko but not the biggest, that would be Tokyo Station. This is also by Ueno Park where there are a bunch of museums, shrines, a zoo, food stalls, and homeless people. I spend a lot of time in subway stations looking lost and having people run into me when I stop in my tracks to try to read the signs. Thankfully in Tokyo the subway signs are usually in English as well as Japanese. I have a lot of work to do before the end of my time here in Tokyo so this will be a short one. I am also going with the lab group to a site survey tomorrow and next Wednesday. A company has asked our Professor to take a look at a retrofit and at a new construction so I will be tagging along as usually. Trying to understand it all. Living it and loving it! Ciao!

Peanut at 6 Months

This is the peanut at six months or is that minus three months! He is definitely growing and providing Mom with some growing pains. Not much to report life goes on much the same. It rains, I go to work and try to finish all I have to do before the symposium. Although I spend a good deal of time in the morning talking to Aaron and Alan and updating the blog. I really making an effort to minimize the amount of time I am playing in the morning. It's just that I miss everyone. I've begun the count down till I return. I'm having a great time but by now I really miss my bed and cats, oh and my husband too. Ten more days! I have most of the shopping and siteseeing done that I wanted to do which is good because I may be working next weekend. I met with Professor Shiohara and he told me what he would like to see me get done before I leave. Yikes! I was a little overwhelmed yesturday. Lots to do!! I wonder now how I will get everything home that I have bought. I was thinking I would send a package but now I think it may fit. Hmmm...

It's Raining Again

So I know that I promised to keep up on the blog this weeked but after several unbearably hot days it has now been raining steady for three days or more. There was a tropical storm that flooded China and has been hitting us with a constant drizzle. The plus side of this is that it has cooled everything off. I really don't mind the rain because when it is not raining it is too hot to breath. Although I hear that the US has been hit by this heat now too. So this weekend was pretty low key... I did a lot of shopping as I already told you, went out for lots of good meals, visited the National Museum and took it easy. The top pic is of a really beautiful hand painted screen at the National Museum and the bottom photo is of Azuki Bean ice cream at the Baskin Robbins. I passed on the bean ice cream and had a berry cheesecake so I can't report on what it tasted like but it was funny so I took a pic and I think the lady working there didn't understand why I was taking a picture of ice cream. I have only 11 days left in Japan so I have lots of work to do and the siteseeing will probably slow down now. Any requests for purchases should be put in now but I think you will all be happy with what I have for you. Oh and by the way Jim - just a theoretical question you understand - do you guys already have a sake set?? You are the hardest to get something for as you have spent so much time in the east, so chopsticks would be a little redudant... anyway, peace to all and to all a good night.

Drummin'

Yesturday was insanely hot again and I went out shopping so along my walk I found the Japanese Drum Museum. It was air conditioned so I stopped in. It turned out to be very cool. You get to play the drums and my favorite is the one in the middle ground here, just below the big swirl. I know I promised to be more vigilant with the blog but it has been too stinky hot to hang out on the balcony. The peanut, computer and I were melting. The last two nights I have been hanging out with friends of Bill's. It's been fun and refreshing. I have to admit it's nice to have the kids out of town. I get to do what I want which is a little different than what the 20 year old peeps want. Today I spent some time at the National Museum which was pretty awesome but mostly my day has involved sleeping in, a late breakfast, some laundry and minimal siteseeing. Just chillin' My bones are starting to ache a little and walking around just isn't an activity I can do a lot of or at least not for extended periods of time. As of today I have two more weeks here and then it is home sweet home. I have already informed Aaron what I want for dinner when I get back. Some BBQ or fried chix, cole slaw, root beer, and most important a fruit cobbler with vanilla ice cream. Oh and peanut wants a big glass of milk. Dairy is not a big part of the Japanese diet so it's a struggle to get even one serving a day. I found this little traditional Japanese outfit for young boys yesturday and I couldn't resist. Peanut keeps making me buy him souvenirs, after all he is just as much on this journey as I am. I think I may have to send a package home via mail as my purchases may not fit in my luggage on the way back. oops!! Aaron has informed me I really need to stop spending money so he can pay the bills. He's so unreasonable!! :) Anyway I think I have taken care of everyone on the list - no I'm not telling, you'll just have to wait. I miss you all and want to know why you've stopped the commentary. Is it because it's the weekend so you aren't procrastinating at work?? Or does the blame fall on me for not posting everyday. I'm in search of fireworks tonite there is supposed to be a big show in Yokohama but it depends which web site you look at as to whether it is this Sun or next. I think tonight since tomorrow is the holiday but who knows, that's a little too much logic for Tokyo. See all of ya soon, e-

Fish Onna Stick

Yes that was a fish onna stick in the last post as is the one in the upper pic. The curved fish was only for decorative purposes and was on the back side of this amazing looking platter of sushimi that we were served (see bottom photo). The fish shown here was something you were expected to just pick up and eat yum yum. I show you this photo because you can see that there is in fact a bite taken out of the belly. I ate my fish onna stick and it was tasty. We had another one the next day. Ahhh... Japan. I really enjoyed the two dinners I was taken to during JCI. We had a private room and although the table was low there was a cut out for your legs underneath. We probably stayed for 3-4 hours and ate amazing food as well as much beer and saki (not me, I had OJ and tea). The company was good and the food was amazing! So I know I had said I wasn't thrilled with Japanese food but I just hadn't had good food. Today is incredibly hot - 36degrees celcius. You'll have to do a little math here but I would say that was in the upper 90's on the Farenheit scale. And for the first time since I have been here the skys are clear and the sun is beating down. Which doesn't make it any less humid. It is so hot and humid it is hard to breath down in the subway tunnels. Fans in Japan aren't for decoration. Both men and women carry them and use them frequently as well as the hankerchief which is never used on the schnoze but is used to mop off the sweat and to dry your hands in the bathroom (no paper towel is provided). So I think I mentioned I am forgoeing the trip to Kyoto. I have heard the city is beautiful and I am sure it would be a worthwhile trip but there is a big festival going on and no cheap hotels are available. With the cost of the bullet train and hotel the trip would cost something like $480 before food and souvenirs. I think I would rather spend that on a pearl :) Anyway there is a fireworks show this weekend in Tokyo that is supposed to last 70 minutes!! Monday is a national holiday (Marine's Day) and so I have a long weekend (yes Jim) and can get in lots of shopping (one of Tokyo's favorite pastimes and I am here to learn the culture after all...) There is still plenty I haven't seen in Tokyo such as the National Museum, I don't think I'll be bored. And really the students are all so young that we don't really have the same interests. I am kinda looking forward to a weekend of doing whatever I want and not having to bow to group concencious. I feel better this morning after a good night's sleep - as I always do. The peanut is 27 weeks old today and wiggling away in my belly. Sometimes I think when I talk to him he starts squirming around in response. I think now the belly is bigger than the Buddha's. I'll send you a photo some time this weekend and let you all decide. Peace. e-

JCI

Hi y'all. I'm feeling a little homesick tonight as I just returned from three days at the JCI convention (Japanese Concrete Institute for those not in the know). It was great fun and the lab group went out for two very awesome dinners, but it was a long trip back and when I am tired I seem to be the most vunerable to homesickness. The rest of the group is taking a trip to Kyoto this weekend but I am passing as it is one of the biggest festivals in Kyoto this weekend and only very expensive hotels are available. I would rather spend my $$ on a couple of awesome souvenirs. Instead I will go to a 70 minute fireworks show in Tokyo and do some shopping. Also take some time to relax. Monday is a holiday here so we have a long weekend. So you should expect me to keep up with this blog in the next days. I know I have been slacking!! It's late, I'm tired and it is hotter than hades on this balcony tonight. So chow for now and I'll talk to y'all soon.

Wallpaper Anyone?

Providing you with wallpaper opportunities from Japan! For those who haven't figured it out yet if you double click on the image you will get the full screen then you can save to wallpaper. These are two of my favorite images from this weekend. The top one is my pick for wallpaper this week. The mist was really there - no photoshop tricks. It was rainy all day and a little on the cool side up in the mountains. Kinda refreshing after Tokyo. It was nice to get out of town and see a different side of life in Japan. We saw real farmers and rice paddies (a lot of them) on the way to Nikko. Procrastinating - back to work everyone.

Weekend Fun

Hi, Sorry it has been awhile since I have posted anything. We've had a busy weekend. The peanut and I did some shopping on Saturday during the day with the other girls. He made me go to this giant toy store and buy him things. I don't know how he has such power over me. For the girls out there, we also went to the Mikimoto pearl store. I was seriously tempted by a necklace - the one I liked only cost about $625. Really it was one of the less expensive items. I tried really hard to justify this purchase but I just couldn't do it. Peanut says I should be spending any extra money we have on him for the next 25 years. The other option was a single pearl in a tear drop setting, this was also a necklace and only cost a meer $140. When Aaron reads this it will be the first time he has heard that I almost spent a large sum of money that we don't really have. I did it though! I made it out of the store alive and without buying anything. But Dad if you really want to impress Mom for Christmas give me a call I could shop for someone else :)
Ok, so maybe the pictures need some explaining. Saturday night we went to Odaiba which is an island of reclaimed land off of Tokyo. We rode on the largest ferris wheel in the world which had an awesome view of the city at night. I took some pics of this but as we were behind scratched plexiglass the photos really don't do the view justice. Sunday me and Lauren took a day trip to Nikko. This is about two hours north of Tokyo by train. This time we really got out of the city and saw farmland and mountains. I don't know what it is about the Buddhists that make them think that elightenment can be achieved by walking up stairs but that seems to be the idea. The stairs on the left are one of three long flights of stairs to the Kitane temple. I was panting for several minutes at the top of each flight. The peanut and I are going to be in good physical condition for this whole birth thing!! There haven't been any athletes in my family but with his background we may find we have a track and field guy(or mountain climber) on our hands. Today I am back to work but I have plenty of photos to keep you interested for the rest of the week and I leave for the Japanese Concrete Institute yearly convention tomorrow which promises to be fun and exciting. For me at least!! See y'all later.

French Fry Relapse

Ok! I admit it! I don't know how you found out but it's true - I went to McDonald's for dinner tonight. I just couldn't face the food gamble alone again. The troupers all went out for a night on the town which happens a lot. No big deal, I can fend for myself but tonite, well I just wanted french fries. I'd like to blame this on the peanut but it was me... I needed an American grease fix. I feel a lot better now that that is off my chest. Thanks for listening - I hope you're all not too disappointed in me.

Geek Squad

On the fourth of July we took a tour of a construction site. The building is being constructed with a hybrid system of web dampers and oil dampers. I asked if they got special dispensation with the city in terms of not having to adhere to the seismic code for the frame since they have the damper system. They said no that this is all over and above the standard seismic provisions for the moment resisting frame. That you probably wouldn't see in the US since we are all so about the bottom line. But I also think there is more of an interest here because Earthquakes are a very frequent experience. The additional expense in the construction is balance by the decrease later in the repair expenses. Well seeing as I have been at work for an hour and have only downloaded photos and IM'd with Aaron and Maria, I should probably work now. Compai!