The Waiting Game

This is me at 8 months prego and Aaron trying to imagine what it must feel like or maybe he's just mocking me :) The little peanut isn't so little anymore. I'm not so sure I'm going to have that average size baby of seven pounds that I was thinking earlier. I would guess that he is going to be at least 8. As of yesturday we are considered full term! So we have the bag packed for the hospital and today Aaron and I need to figure out how to put the baby seat in the car. This may require all of my engineering skills :) It is almost like the Pea knew that yesturday was a milestone. I had mild contractions all day - on and off. Ever time I would sit down for any length of time and then stand up my belly would clench. I went to see the doc for my check up yesturday and she was excited about this. But don't everyone come rushing down - these were just Braxton Hicks contractions - mild and irregular. It would be nice to have the baby next week though 'cause I have 3 big assignments due and I can't think of a better way to get out of that!

Everyone seems surprised that I plan on attending school right up to the birth and then returning as soon as possibly. Just to clarify this - it's not like I am trying to be a martyr here but I don't see that I have any choice. It's not like the University provides maternity leave to students. And if I don't attend classes I don't receive financial aid - without financial aid I would have to get some crappy job that wouldn't provide maternity leave either. And then there is the idea that if I don't get these classes out of the way, next year I would start my sixth year of undergrad. Yikes!! That doesn't sound appealing! Anyway the sooner I get done with my undergrad the sooner I get funded and then insurance is free and I have an income. I think that goes along way towards taking care of myself and the little Pea. Sorry I guess I needed to get that off my chest. I just have so many people that are like "why are you even taking classes this term?" or "when are you going to stop coming to school" or "your not finishing the semester, are you?". I think when you are in your mid twenties, live with your parents in the summer and they pay for most of your school, you don't quite get the concept of doing what you have to to survive. I really don't mind it. Ok, it would be nice to sit on my ass and eat bonbons all day but I wasn't raised that way. Most school days I am exhausted by the end of the day, but it is helping me sleep and keeping my mind off of things. What else would I do? I'm sure that all the farm women and peasant women in long ago didn't have maternity leave either.

I stubbed my little pinky toe last weekend and broke it (or at least I am pretty sure I did). That was entertaining. For one day I stayed in bed with my toe on ice and the next day I couldn't put shoes on so I wore my slippers around all day. One week later I can wear shoes but my toe is black and blue and swollen still. It's not like I even have a good story that involves race cars or alligator wrestling. I just stubbed my poor toe on the door jamb.

I have been at the doctor more times in the last three weeks than anybody deserves! I go to the ob/gyn weekly now and one week we had an appointment with the pediatrician's nurse practicioner (Nurse Ratched!!) as well as me having to get a lump checked out in my breast. The lump I found they decided was nothing but they found something else in the process. So the last couple of weeks I have been also going to see various specialists about this. I am lucky to live in Ann Arbor with all the expert medical services we have here but sometimes I think this means twice as many doctor appointments as you get shuffled from one clinic to the next to find the doctor that specializes in just your predicament. So this Friday I go and have what is called a "Fine Needle Aspiration with Ultrasound" done. Essentially they are going to take a small sample of the tissue and biopsy it. The doctor that was finally assigned to me (a specialist ob/gyn and breast oncology man) doesn't think that this is anything to worry about but since we have breast cancer rampant in my mothers side of the family, he wants it checked out. He just thinks it is my breasts getting ready to do their thing and maybe we have some extra tissue or a blocked duct or something.

There were a couple of days when they first found the lump that I was essentially freakin' out. After all - how melodramic can it be to be pregnant and have breast cancer! This really appealed to my sense of drama. Then I decided I didn't have the time or energy to worry about this right now and all the fussing isn't going to make a bit of difference. It'll be what it'll be. See that good German stoicism comes in handy some times! :) Ok well didn't mean to worry all of you folks either but since this is my online journal, I have to be honest. I write for myself mostly these days so it's like the risk you took when you read your sister's diary. You may not always like what you find. :)

Today looks like another beautiful fall day and Aaron and I both have the day off. I have been on the computer since 7am and it's now almost 9. So I think it's time to put on the coffee for Aaron and jump in the shower. Have a good day!